“If I can just do this perfectly, then it will work out the way I want.” This is such a common thought, not only when we are struggling to have a child, but during so many challenging periods in life.
We have the illusion of control, and so put an enormous weight of responsibility on ourselves. We drive ourselves forward striving to make our every effort and action as perfect as possible – as if it is only our own weakness that has kept us from what we’ve desired for so long.
But you need to know that it isn’t your fault. It is not your weakness or imperfection that has lead to to where you are today. No matter the reasons or circumstances, forcing yourself to strictly adhere to rules isn’t the answer to changing your situation. That approach will only add to your stress and frustration, perpetuating the cycle of frustration.
I think about this often when I receive questions from our Circle + Bloom community about what to do when your menstrual cycle doesn’t align perfectly with our program’s guided meditation.
“What Should I Do If My Menstrual Cycle Doesn’t Align With the Guided Meditation?”
I often receive questions about the timing of the Circle + Bloom guided meditations for infertility, and what to do if they don’t line up with your unique cycle — like these:
“I recently purchased your program (natural) and love it. I’m wondering what you recommend for people who don’t have 28 day cycles? How would one listen to them? I usually ovulate around day 17-18, but it always varies.”
“I recently bought the fertility program and for the first time I’ve been able to think a bit more positively about TTC. I’ve come across a problem though, my cycles are pretty irregular. I have endo and some months are 28 days some are 36 and everything in between, plus plenty of spotting and pain. I check for LH surge and record bbt so I have a rough idea of when I ovulate, but this can be as late as day 24/25. I don’t know when to listen to some of the tracks. I’m currently at day 14 and should be ovulating according to your tracks, but I’ve no LH surge and bbt isn’t rising…. Should I just keep listening to track 13 until this happens? The tracks ask me to imagine things that I know can’t have happened yet if I continue into day 14,15,16 etc. Your advice would be greatly appreciated.”
“I just purchased your guided meditation for IVF and want to make sure I understand when I should begin the program based on my particular cycle. I will be beginning the IVF process in about 4 weeks. My period will begin any day between August 17-19. My doctor will begin me on birth control pill on day 2 or 3 of my cycle and I will remain on the pill for about 1-2 weeks. After I am finished with the pill I will begin all IVF meditations for about 10 days. What day should I begin this meditation program based on this timeline? Do I start it right before I begin the birth control pill? Or is it designed to begin when beginning the medications? I want to make sure I’m doing it correctly.”
I understand the fear and anxiety behind these questions. I was there once, I lived in that constant state of uncertainty. Before my second daughter was conceived and born, I didn’t know if I would ever get to meet her. We tried for so long, and I didn’t know what (if anything) was going to work to help us meet our baby.
I want to reach out and hug each and every one of you who has this question. But since I can’t do that, I want to answer this question with as much love and support as I can convey in a blog post.
You aren’t going to mess this up. I promise.
I know you want to get every possible benefit that you can from your guided meditations. And you will, simply by showing up. That’s truly all you need to do. Show up, listen, and allow your mind and body to be carried by the meditations.
And they will: the meditations will carry you where you need to go.
I created these guided meditations together with highly respected and skilled medical doctors who know the intricacies of reproduction and infertility and the spectrum of treatments. They are also based on decades of research into the power of the mind-body connection, and the proven impact of relaxation and meditation.
But the biggest key of receiving the positive impact of your Circle + Bloom guided meditation is to allow yourself to relax, feel the calm, and follow the meditation where it leads you.
That said, there is a simple answer for these questions of timing: Adjust as needed for your own unique cycle and situation.
How to Adjust Your Listening to Match Your Unique Cycle
Our bodies are intricate, precision machines. But they don’t always follow the “rules” or function on a set schedule. We each have a unique and always-changing internal schedule.
I created the Circle + Bloom guided meditation programs based on a typical, generalized schedule. It’s meant to loosely align with your cycle – but there’s no way it can be spot-on, every time.
If you’re using the Natural Cycle for Fertility program, it’s based on a 28-day cycle. But like the question above, your cycle may be different. It may be consistently longer or shorter than 28 days, or it could be 26 days one month and 34 days the next. Everyone is different. This guided meditation will work for all of these cycles – it just takes a little adjustment.
So on cycle day 14, this guided meditation leads you through a visualization of ovulation; an egg is released into the fallopian tube. If you are aware of your own ovulation timing, and know that it has or will happen either before or after day 14, you should adjust your listening schedule:
- If your ovulation happens before day 14, skip over as many days as needed and listen to the day 14 guided meditation to align with your current cycle; or
- If your ovulation hasn’t happened yet by the time you reach the day 14 recording, listen to the day 13 guided meditation for several days in a row – as many days as your body needs until it has released an egg.
You should double-up or skip sessions at any time during your cycle to adjust the meditations to your personal needs.
If you don’t know exactly when you ovulate, it’s fine to continue listening on the standard guided meditation schedule. It doesn’t need to be “perfect” to make a difference – there is no such thing as “perfect”. You are still benefiting from the relaxing, calming experience of guided meditation – even if the visualizations don’t align exactly with what your body is doing in that moment.
If you’re listening to the IVF and IUI program, it is also based on a typical 28-day cycle but also includes three pre-cycle sessions to listen to before you begin stimming.
You can start this program at any time. If you begin prior to stimming (if you are taking birth control pills or at any time before that), you will begin by listening to the three pre-cycle sessions.
Then the Day 1 and 2 guided meditations are scripted to begin on the day you beginning stimming.
That said, if your cycle doesn’t align with the guided meditation, simply repeat a meditation for one or more days, or skip a few days to re-align your listening to where your body is in that moment.
You won’t miss anything critical by skipping over a few days, and repeating a meditation for a few extra days is just bonus relaxation and consistency.
And keep in mind that it’s okay that it isn’t perfectly on-schedule. There is no such thing as perfect. There’s just you – as you are today, in this moment – taking a brief break from the activity and thoughts of daily life to focus internally, breathe, feel calm and relaxed, and care for yourself and your well-being.
If you have questions that you would like for me to answer – either privately through email or in our blog – please share them with me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
With love & gratitude,