Introducing The Art of Trying
The journal that I kept through a challenging infertility journey with my husband Adam was the catalyst for me to write the complete story and share it through my first book The Art of Trying.
It’s an intimate, authentic account of my journey to conceive, told over a seven year period. It goes deep into the dark, and the light, of what I experienced and learned about: infertility and treatments, loss, mental health, assisted conception, the strength of mind and body, and relationships – to receive the most precious gifts in life. It includes photographs and original journal entries which provide a snapshot of life through my eyes at the time.
I wrote it for anyone struggling to fulfill their dreams of starting a family, as well as for the people who are supporting them. It provides guidance and hope but it’s not a how-to book. It offers a true glimpse into all aspects around the challenging journey of infertility. My hope is that readers will know exactly how I felt so that they might find comfort in my story and know ‘thank goodness it’s not just me.’
The Art of Trying was launched online as a paperback and ebook on the 20th of November and became an Amazon international bestseller. The feedback I’m receiving from readers is very moving and reaffirms exactly why I pursued writing and publishing it.
A Snapshot of My Story
My journey with infertility started a long time before I became aware of it, back as a teenager with painful heavy periods that I thought was the norm. After a string of different contraceptive pills, gynecologist visits and eventually a laparoscopy and hysteroscopy in 2007 (the first of two that I’ve had), I was diagnosed with mild/moderate endometriosis at age 26.
It was the female factor that contributed to infertility in our case. We presume my endometriosis had an impact but other than that it’s unexplained why we had a challenging time creating our family. In the end we’ve been incredibly blessed with four healthy children, but it was a tough road to get here, that challenged me to breaking point at times.
Living in rural Australia, our geographic isolation and my mental health were my biggest challenges. I titled the book ‘The Art of Trying’ because becoming pregnant felt like a rare and complex art form to me. I still perceive creating a child and bringing it safely into the world as the most mystical, magical thing in the universe.
Why I wrote The Art of Trying
- Knowing that my story and journal entries was what I wanted to read when we were trying to conceive, and a strong gut feeling that it could help other women who are where I once was. I had to overcome many doubts and fears to get it written but the nagging feeling that it was something I needed to do wouldn’t go away
- Because I wanted to document the story, pull together my journal entries, medical records and photographs, so that our children would know how desperately we wanted them and how they were created
- For my own healing
- To demonstrate to our boys that you can achieve whatever you decide to, and encourage others to share their stories
Tips for Women Struggling to Conceive
- Focus on what you can control, primarily the health of your mind and body
- Listen to your body and your inner voice. If you feel like something is wrong, or you want to seek a second opinion, don’t hesitate to go do it! Don’t let anyone tell you differently to what you know to be true about your body
- The greatest power we have at our disposal is our magnificent mind. Granted, our mind alone will not create a pregnancy, but the mind-body connection is so strong and regardless of the circumstances we can have control from within
- One of the best things you can do to support yourself in falling pregnant and experiencing a healthy pregnancy is to develop a positive mental attitude. I don’t mean simply telling yourself ‘stay positive’; what I’m referring to is deliberately choosing thoughts, feelings and actions that are in harmony with what you want (e.g. a healthy pregnancy and baby), rather than the present circumstances (i.e. struggling to conceive). Daily use of gratitude, and the proper use of your imagination to form and hold the picture of what you want, are powerful practices to support you on your journey. Chapter 13 of my book covers this in depth. I wish I had this knowledge and these tools at my disposal when we were TTC, as I could have been far more effective with the use of my mind
- It’s okay to not be okay in some moments, and days. Remaining positive is the ideal scenario for sure, but you can allow yourself to sit with the negativity, the pain and the sorrow for a time if you need to, and trust that you will move through it soon
The Art of Trying Affirmation Cards
Repetition of affirmations can have a profound effect on our subconscious, which is why I have developed 31 conception, pregnancy and general mindset affirmations for women who want to be, or are, mothers. These are included in Chapter 14 of The Art of Trying, and from them I’ve created a boxed set of beautiful individually designed affirmation cards.
I stumbled across pregnancy affirmations while trying to conceive, and it was a revelation to me that I could use them to help me in my quest. I didn’t understand at the time that through repetition of the affirmations I was creating positive thoughts that flowed on to my feelings, actions and ultimately to my results. Affirmations bring order and focus to your mind, as well as comfort in the times when you feel like giving up.
I hope that others find hope, strength and joy in The Art of Trying affirmation cards, available from www.benitabensch.com/shop.
Providing a Safe Space
The Art of Trying brings up some painful but common issues encountered on the road to motherhood, and I suspected it would bring forward those who could benefit from connecting with others.
The Art of Trying private Facebook group is a safe space for women to find support in a closed forum environment. It can be joined from my Benita Bensch – Author Facebook page (www.facebook.com/benitabensch).
The Art of Trying is available worldwide on Amazon as a paperback and ebook via www.theartoftryingbook.com
Benita Bensch is a mother of four boys, writer, entrepreneur and Australian farmer on a mission to live her best life and help others to do the same. She believes in the power of vulnerability through storytelling to start and shape meaningful conversations, and is passionate about supporting and empowering women on their motherhood journey. Visit www.benitabensch.com and follow Benita on Facebook and Instagram @benitabensch