Guest blog by Aisha Coore, a freelance writer and blogger.
I have heard so many people speak of being grateful and the effect gratefulness has on your life from Oprah Winfrey to Deepak Chopra. I have always thought, I was grateful but it was not until something in my life took me through a storm that I saw what I was made of. And let me tell you it wasn’t pretty. At the slightest adversity, my “grateful” attitude disappeared. What happened next sent me on a path to self-discovery.
I came from humble beginnings, I worked hard for everything I have in life but I always got what I wanted, until I didn’t. There was this one situation in my life I could not seem to get a grip on and the more I tried, cried and prayed the more it alluded me. Every time I was knocked down, I got back up ready to fight again and then the longer I fought I became less hopeful and more doubtful, fearful and insecure. How, why was this happening to me? Was there something I did to deserve this? Life is not fair, how can this person get pregnant with no issues and on and on it continued. By the time I looked up this confident,independent woman was left looking like someone I did not recognize nor want to be around. How do you get away from yourself? You can’t, that’s just it. There is no escaping who we really are at the core of our beings, no matter how pretty we look on the outside. I wasted so much time complaining that one year turned into four years before I knew it. I started realizing that the more I complained the worse it got and, the worse I felt, until it was as if I was not really living, I just existed.
I had to do some deep, intense,uncomfortable soul-searching, and my self-indulgent, self-entitlement and negative thought patterns made me dislike who I saw in the mirror. Then a life raft came and I was given an opportunity to do some intense therapy, talking to God and coaching (which I recommend) and day by day, I came out of it. I started replacing fear with gratitude but not that fake stuff. I am grateful for waking up blah, blah,blah. It was the deep down feeling of gratefulness that has completely changed my life. Because once we look around I mean really look around and open our eyes we cannot help but be grateful and start believing in impossibilities. I realized that it would not hurt me to do the opposite of what I had been doing, if nothing else it would get me out of this funk. The more I started believing it, the more my life changed.
For starters, I began journaling and thinking daily about things I am truly grateful for. For example, being grateful for our eyes,legs, fingers, etc. Those things may seem minuscule because they are readily available to us and sometimes we take things for granted and feel as though those things will always be there. Even items we think (in a first world country) are easily accessible like shelter,water, and clothes. The thought that I am still alive after everything I have been through makes me want to roll around in a field of lilies (maybe not literally) but you get the idea. One of my favorite quotes is “The past is history, the future is a mystery, and the present is a gift of God that’s why it’s called the present”, Bill Keene.
To save you some time and heartache try this; Do not waste time focusing on what you do not have, its wasted energy and counterproductive. I challenge you to start writing down three-five things that you are grateful for and really feel the gratitude. Just try it and I promise it will change your life. You may not get what you want, but I promise you, something even greater is on the horizon.
Aisha Coore is a part-time professor and Executive Operations Manager for a local University in Metro Atlanta, Georgia. She received her B.A. from the State University of New York at Oswego in Public Relations and M.A. in Public Administration from Kennesaw State University. Aisha married her partner at 30 and started trying to have a family at 33. She did not realize how difficult a task this would be for them and after five years of trying naturally, IVF, IUI, miscarriage and loss she decided to turn this sadness into passion. In her spare time, Aisha is also a freelance writer and blogger. She launched a new blog specifically geared to help women that face the same rode of infertility she traveled by sharing her own life experiences and resources to help them along the way. She currently resides in metro Atlanta with her husband and their dog Bentley. She can be contacted at firstname.lastname@example.org for any questions or inquiries.