My husband, daughter, 2 dogs and I live in New England. I’m a Type A personality, who likes things to happen immediately. It took awhile before my husband & I were ready to have children. Almost in our mid 30’s we decided it was time & we were lucky it only took 3 months.
About a year and a half after our daughter was born we decided we would like to add to our family. I just assumed it would be as easy as the first time. I was very wrong. After trying for 5 months with no luck I consulted a midwife on my cycle which was clearly very short. I was given Progesterone but I don’t think it was enough. I did increase the dose to nearly double and got pregnant in 2 months, only to lose the baby almost immediately. It took another 6 months to get pregnant again, which resulted in another miscarriage and I needed a D&C. In another 3 months I got pregnant again, also to suffer another miscarriage almost immediately.
During the above time I have tried everything possible to help my odds. I’ve taken Chinese herbs, CoQ10, l-carnitine, l-arginine, FertiliTea, FertileAid, FertileCM, cinnamon, maca, bee pollen, false unicorn root, eating lots of leafy green veggies, cutting caffeine, limiting alcohol consumption, charting, OPKs, fertility monitors, the list goes on & on. At some point I do believe I plateaued from from various options. I had several months where I backed off of everything.
The last few months where I got pregnant within 3 months of D&C I changed my plan of attack a bit. I started doing fertility yoga daily & qi gong when I had the time. Both helped me relax a lot. I also started weekly acupuncture which also was a great relaxation tool. I purchased Circle & Bloom and began listening to the tracks every evening. I think I was so relaxed in the beginning I was lucky to not fall asleep while listening. They were also very calming and helped me get in tune with my body. I was also taking specific Chinese herbs based on bimonthly consultations. After my last loss I became disheartened at yet another loss when I thought the acupuncture and herbs should have prevented this. Obviously there is no prevention but I was wounded again. I stopped taking herbs but continued acupuncture, yoga, Qi Gong and Circle & Bloom.
I’m happy to report, though its still early that I am 7 weeks pregnant with twins! This was 2 months after my last loss. I have seen the heart beats which makes me feel more secure though I still worry about another loss.
Being such a high strung person and facing the disappointment each month of not being pregnant or another loss was extremely painful. I knew I needed to do something to relax myself. The benefits of acupuncture, yoga and Qi Gong were apparent to me & I knew supplementing with relaxation tracks would only help me relax further. Over and over I would read how relaxation is key to conceiving and I just couldn’t get there. I consciously told myself this last month that I dont have any control at some point & I would get pregnant eventually but I couldn’t obsess on it. My husband and I decided to pay out of pocket insurance in order to have better coverage for IVF. I was planning on taking steps for IVF the following month but it looks like I don’t need to now.
Believe me when I say the hardest thing is letting go of the trying to conceive process. Its not in me to give up charting, etc…so I did that but I stopped searching each month for possible symptoms of being pregnant only to get my hopes dashed each month.
I do think Circle + Bloom helped me to relax and let go of the process and for that I thank you.
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