I’m Julie and I’ve lived with unexplained infertility my whole life, never being able to achieve a pregnancy.
At age 17, I had some cells frozen off my cervix as a result of having a pre-cancerous condition. Then I went about living my life, traveling, learning, enjoying, loving, never realizing my fertility was dwindling, always confident I could have kids at any age- why hurry?
Later, at age 39, I was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease. My intestines were matted to my reproductive organs with masses of sticky puss, and there were enormous cysts on my uterus and abdominal wall. It took two years and many rounds of infusion therapy to go into remission after that. I was put on very serious drugs to maintain that state. Then my marriage fell apart in the worst possible way, and then my life fell apart.
As I got older, I started really feeling the loss of never having had any children, almost to the point of literally being able to hear my biological clock ticking. It was very hard to deal with. Cut to a couple years down the track, single, working as an executive chef, not feeling sad anymore, just getting on with my life. I’d stopped taking my meds in favor of a more holistic approach to maintaining my health- lots of exercise, lifting weights, running, eating clean, occasionally getting acupuncture…and amazingly, it worked.
I stayed in remission, and was pretty pleased with myself. It was the fittest I’d been in my life, despite everything.
Then I met a man. Things moved very fast, and we talked about having a child. I was 45 at the time.
An apprentice who was working in my kitchen became a very dear friend to me, and I confided in her about my fertility workup, where they told me they wouldn’t bother investigating the cause of my unexplained infertility because the facts were: no matter how youthful I looked, my eggs were old! I told her they suggested I use donor eggs (I desperately wanted to try an IVF cycle), but the thought of that was so far-fetched I couldn’t get my head around it.
Then this wonderful, dear girl very matter-of-factly said “Jules, let me give you my eggs”. She was 19 at the time, and someone I’d had an instant connection with, a younger “me”.
I first bought the natural cycle program and we tried in earnest for a year, but deep down I knew I probably needed to do IVF.
So when we decided to do donor egg treatment, I bought that program- and the one for the donor, for Emma. I was her support person, and I loved going through all of it with her. I believed in the quality of her eggs, but had no faith in my own body to do its part.
I listened to the program religiously though, and it calmed my mind tremendously. I’m someone who thrives on being in control of her environment- this was scary territory! The day I picked up the results letter, I had been having an internal conversation all day trying to prepare for the negative outcome.
When I read the words “Julie, today you have a positive pregnancy test…” I literally exploded in tears, laughter, and screams. It was unreal! I drove to the supermarket to buy a pee stick- haha, for once I’d see two lines!!! I must’ve taken 200 pregnancy tests in my life, hoping for that extra line. I peed on a stick every week for the first three months of my pregnancy. I couldn’t believe I was pregnant. I still have to pinch myself to believe I am finally someone’s mama. I can’t imagine my life without my son. It’s been such a hard journey, but so amazing. He’s been the making of me.
There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that without these programs to bring balance and harmony into my being, it wouldn’t have happened for me.
I will be buying the FET program next.
So, thank you, thank you, thank you so very much from the bottom of my heart x
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