Guest Blog by Dr. Lisa Ashe, D.O. Medical Director of Be Well Medical Group
Like many women, my focus for the past decade has been on my career and, in the last several years, I’ve also been called to ministry.
I admittedly have thought about what I might name my children and where I would get married, but not much more beyond that. I didn’t think about what it might actually take to be married and have children.
This year, I finally believe I’m ready to get married and am ready to be a mother. While these two things are not mutually exclusive, I’d personally like to pair them together. I found myself babysitting and on playdates with my friends without a child nor pet and I began to feel the desire that so many have expressed when it comes to being a mother. I thought to myself, yay, I actually have the mother gene.
That’s when I decided to freeze my eggs. I had heard of the procedure, even recommended it to several patients but somehow never thought much about it until this year. So I researched the procedure, asked for recommendations of physicians and had an initial appointment.
During the ultrasound, I remember thinking, oh no, “what if he says my eggs look bad”, ‘what if I don’t have enough”. The fear about my fertility was palpable. The Doctor spoke, “your eggs look normal for your age,” he said. You’ll have to lose weight, about 20 pounds, to help your fertility. We’ll do lab work and then go from there.”
I finally let out the breath I didn’t realize I was holding. My eggs look normal, sigh. It was then I realized how so many of patients feel when they are waiting on my call about their lab results or why they sit straight up in the hospital bed when I walk in to discuss their MRI report.
My decision to freeze my eggs comes at a time when I’m ready, although I wished I started three years ago. This is what I would have told myself:
1. Do your research
- What’s the right age to begin the process? Most scholars that 32 or 33 are great ages to freeze your eggs
- What does the procedure entail?
- Any side effects or complications?
- How much is the procedure?
2. Discuss with your doctor
- What’s the timeline?
- Ask questions about the medications- do they have side effects? How long to I need to take them? Are the cost of the medications covered in the total cost or by my insurance?
- Do you need to lose weight?
- Do you have any health challenges that may prevent you from getting the procedure?
- Do you drink too much alcohol?
- How many women actually use their eggs?
- What will happen to my eggs if I don’t use them
3. Plan your finances
- Set up a savings account- does this qualify as HSA expense so this can be tax free?
- Can you afford the procedure?
- Does your job help with cost
4. Don’t let anyone make the decision for you
- Talk it over with friends and family but be confident of your own choices
- If you have a spouse or partner, engage them in the process, but again be true to your own wishes and aspirations
Dr. Lisa Ashe serves as the Medical Director of Be Well Medical Group– a leading concierge medicine and wellness group currently serving the Washington D.C., Maryland and Virginia metro areas. A Board Certified Internal Medicine physician, Dr. Lisa has completed countless certifications and training programs throughout the United States and abroad. She is a member of the American Medical Association, American Osteopathic Association and the American College of Physicians. Prior to founding Be Well Medical Group, Dr. Lisa was the Medical Director at Doctors Community Hospital, where she was responsible for the daily activities of the Clinical Decision and Observation Units.
Dr. Lisa completed her residency at George Washington University and Providence Hospital in Washington, D.C., and her internship at Georgetown University. Dr. Lisa earned her medical degree at the Philadelphia College of Osteopathic Medicine. She also received her Masters of Divinity from the Samuel Dewitt Proctor School of Theology at Virginia Union University. She has received numerous awards, including the National Congress of Black Women’s Shirley Chisholm Award, Adam Clayton Powell Scholarship, Skinner Leadership Institute, and was awarded the key to the city of Camden, NJ.
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