A guest blog by Kristin Beltaos, M.A. Life Coach/Owner of A Gift of Miles

Numbers…we use them for everything when struggling with our fertility. Many keep a notebook with each cycle’s stats, pour over the Internet doing research and discuss every nuance with your doctor hoping for that extra surge of bright light to get us through the days.

In general, infertility rattles you to the core and turns many of us into wire-haired terriers, high-strung, sensitive and anxious when evaluating the numbers.

Why are we so married to these numbers?

Well…numbers give us something to concentrate on…when they are good; they’re the buoys we need to fuel positivity. When the numbers are less than stellar, we spiral down into an abyss where we’d obviously rather not be, which makes it difficult to keep a glass half full outlook.

So how can you best strike a balance between numbers and positivity?

First, take the numbers for what they are…a collection of numerals. Encourage yourself to stop thinking statistically about your baby. Leave probability to the racetrack and Vegas. People beat the odds everyday…people beat cancer…people have their MS go into remission…and people who struggle with reproductive issues conceive and have miracle babies every day.

Secondly, thrust yourself into possibility. To start, align your thoughts to attract what you want in your life ~ a baby. It is easy to fall victim to reproductive challenges as so often it feels like so much is out of our control. Take back your power and spend time each day calling your baby’s soul to you. That little soul wants to be received into your open and peaceful life. Abandon thoughts of despair and negativity and live your daily life with the intention of possibility.

Have you ever heard the John Legend song Dare to Dream?

Close Your Eyes And Visualize
Nothing Is Impossible For Those Who Try
Just Dream To Fly As Eagles Fly Across the Sky
I Know We Can…

Dare to Dream! Let your mind wander thinking of baby names, the various colors and designs for a nursery and what about the definition of your spectacular maternity fashion style.

Be Courageous! Conceive your whole life and not just your baby. Establish this new mental outlook because it is good for you and your overall health. Let possibility and C-H-A-N-C-E come rushing in. Realize that conceiving is not about luck because that deems some couples to be lucky and others unlucky. Moreover, conceiving is not that some couples are fortunate and others are unfortunate.

Take Action! Distract yourself from the stress and do something fun to recharge your battery: listen to your favorite music, watch a funny movie, have lunch with a friend or get out there and move your body and exercise. The break will do you good, change your mood and better equip you to cope with stressful situations. Plus, feeding the soul prevents you from feeling isolated, a common “side effect” of infertility.

Lastly, every month is a possibility…a chance to conceive. True chance is the absence of any cause of events that can be predicted or controlled. Yes, do everything you can to optimize our chances medically, but what about all the things you can do physically and mentally? Becoming too married to the numbers can create an unhealthy approach to conceiving a baby…because it takes possibility and chance out of the equation. If you take out chance, don’t you take away your hope?

After 15 years of corporate marketing employment and independent business and marketing consulting, Kristin followed her passion and launched A Gift of Miles.

Kristin provides life coaching and support services to those dealing with Stress Management, Child Food Allergies and Reproductive Challenges. Individuals and couples have a positive, emotionally safe environment to process and communicate their concerns and happiness while embarking on life’s challenges. Kristin offers empathetic, emotional support and consulting that promotes physical, mental, emotional and spiritual wellness. A Gift of Miles serves local and national clients through a variety of clinics in the Twin Cities as well as via telephone and Skype.

Stress Management (Life’s Daily Grind of Chaos, Finding your Calling or Passion in Life, Relationships, Employment Transitions, Aging Parents, Parental Loss), Child Food Allergies and Reproductive Challenges (Infertility, Secondary Infertility, Miscarriage, Pregnancy After A Loss or Infertility).

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