The Windy Path of Adoption

This post dedicated to my closest friends who are going through the process of adoption that I admire and love so greatly.

There was a bag packed full of brand new baby boy clothes and tiny diapers. A breast pump. An infant car seat.

Our closest friends were within a few days of adoption. The birth mother had selected them and plans were set. A c-section was scheduled and they flew down to be there for the birth. Given the strength of the relationship that had built over the previous months, the birth mother asked my friend to be part of the birthing process. She was. She was the first to hold the baby. There were tears of happiness given the beauty and health of this baby boy. When they couldn’t stay at the hospital any longer, they went to buy presents for the birth mom and her family.

And then…the birth mother decided to keep the baby.

The rational way to look at this of course is the fact that the birth mom has made a decision that she feels comfortable with. That she has decided to raise this child.

But plans were made. The baby was named. There was to be a baptism with two of his cousins. My friend was even going to breast feed.

I am in awe of the strength, love and hope of my friends who are going through this. And this is the second time this has happened to them.  Yes, it was one of the most painful things they have ever experienced.  Period.  But they are not bitter.  They are not vengeful. Nope. They simply remain hopeful. Ready to start the process all over again.

I personally don’t know if I could do this. To go through that again. To put yourself out there again. But I know they will. They will persevere and continue, touching countless lives in a positive way as they do. I guarantee that this birth mom will never forget this couple who demonstrated the highest qualities of virtue, generosity and love.

Life unfolds in mysterious ways.  Events like this remind me to surrender and remember that everything happens in its own time.

And for the next time there will be a bag packed of baby clothes with tiny diapers. A breast pump. An infant car seat.  And boundless love.

{ 4 comments… add one }

  • Kathy Mohin June 28, 2010, 3:48 pm

    Thanks Jo. That was beautifully written! I, too, admire their determination.

  • Bill McCarthy June 28, 2010, 7:17 pm

    We too decided we had lots of love to give and decided on adoption. We could not endure the pain mentioned above as it had happened to a close friend and decided on an international adoption. She is our princess, a gift from god. Might your friends want to explore this avenue?

  • Gracelin July 1, 2011, 1:39 am

    Thanks for writing such an easy-to-uendsrtand article on this topic.

  • Nenk November 23, 2015, 9:40 am

    Dr. Honea is a great physician. She works hard to make sure her peantits completely understand things that are going on with their treatment. I had been trying to have a baby for 8 years went to a different fertility dr for 2 years and my 1st year with Dr. Honea I was pregnant and had a successful pregnancy. She is a very compassionate person with a kind heart. It really impressed me how each time I seen her we walked away with a hug. That is something I will never forget. She makes a strong positive connection with her peantits. My healthy son just turned 1 in August. He is a miracle. Thank you Dr. Honea for helping me keep my precious baby alive during my pregnancy. I always recommend you to people I know struggling with fertility. Thank you so much.

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